In Loving Memory
of "Kat"
Katherine L. Trevino
Born: Katherine Leila Cox July 12, 1981
Died: July 25, 2004 Age 23
On a hot Sunday in July 1981, Katherine Leila Cox, was born in Portland to Michael and Emily Cox.
Twenty-three years later on another day in July as Airman First Class Katherine Trevino, she passed away at home in Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, England.
Kat grew up in Cornish at Meadow Brook Farm with her mother and Great-grandmother Florence Weeks and attended S.A.D. 55 schools but graduated from Massabesic High School in Waterboro. Before joining the Air Force she had worked at local restaurants in Cornish and at Pratt Abbot in Westbrook and Portland. Kat joined the Air Force and left for basic training November 2002 at Lackland AFB , San Antonio, TX. She attended technical school at Keesler AFB MS. At her death, Kat was serving the USAF as a computer technician in Communications squadron at Lakenheath AFB, UK. She was proud to serve in the United States Air Force, and at Lakenheath ,Kat met and married Airman First Class Carlos Trevino of Falfurrias, Texas on St. Valentine's day of this year in Bury Saint Edmunds where the couple came to reside.
A memorial service was held on base in England, Thursday, July 29 at which time friends and co workers numbering over eight hundred came together to celebrate her life. She had touched many lives and was well loved and shall be missed.
At an early age Kat was known as a mediator and always wanted her friends happy. She enjoyed music: Oasis, the Doors, and the Beatles as well as contemporary rock. Although not a scholar she was very clever and accomplished. She was a good worker and good manager of people. Kat was known for her slender beauty without vanity, her kindness, her smile, and her outgoing ways. She loved hiking and camping and was homesick for the White Mountains in NH.
She leaves behind her parents Michael L. Cox of Biddeford, and her mother Emily Weeks of Cornish, her maternal grandmother Ruth Jewell of Fryeburg, and step-grandfather David Jewell of Westbrook. Kat also leaves Ma, her grandmother Leona Cox of Standish and Matinicus Is. She also has an uncle Marshall Weeks of New York City, Uncle Frank Nappi of Westbrook, and Aunts Flora Sue Nappi of Westbrook and Julie Barry of Portland. Cousins: Elizabeth Coyne of Yarmouth and Sam Nappi of Portland.
She will be laid to rest near her Great-Grammie Weeks at Riverside Cemetery in Cornish.
Dear Ron and Charlie:
It is with deep, deep sorrow that I must write to you
to report that my daughter Katherine has committed suicide.
I'm sorry I should have told you sooner. We believe it
happened on July 24. Her body was found on July 25.
Mom has been meaning to call also.
It has been just crazy here for the past - nearly two weeks
now. The whole thing is just insane! She was just married
this past Valentine's day! We had thought everything was fine.
We had thought that she was happy and was doing very well
in her Air Force job, and with her new marriage.
We have had many reports of all the fun she has been
having traveling to London, and in England. And, they
had a wonderful trip to Pisa, Italy that she sent some pictures
of.
We think it was not premeditated. We think something
happened between her and Carlos ( her new husband ) -
that must have triggered some deep psychological pain.
She had talked to her mother on the Thursday evening
- a long phone conversation - she groused a little bit
about small things - but her mother says that she was fine!
There was no indication of trouble. But, then on the
Friday evening - there was a voice mail message to
Emily which spoke of Katherine having had a phone
conversation with a girl in the states, who - apparently - had
thought that she was - still - engaged to Carlos! And,
- apparently - he had failed to tell this other girl that he
was now married !
Emily tried to return the phone call on Saturday but
never got through. Katherine was seen by some of her
friends early that Saturday morning - they were helping a
friend move, and Katherine had made a date
with one of her friends to go to a BBQ Saturday
afternoon. She never showed up.
Another one of her friends has said that she and
Carlos had had a fight on the Friday evening, and that she
had thrown Carlos out of the house: telling him that he
wasn't going to be sleeping there that night!
It was Carlos - who had been trying to call her all day
Saturday to make up - who found her body the next
Sunday morning.
It is a horrible tragedy and we are all very shaken.
There is a police investigation that is still going on.
There was a note (actually there were two notes - one
to Carlos, and one addressed "To the family") - which
we have not been allowed to see yet - but, we will.
And, of course, we will also be allowed
to read the investigation report.
We had an open house this past Thursday evening, and
the funeral service was yesterday. She is buried near
her Great Grammie Weeks in Cornish.
She was no war hero. She didn't fight in any battle -
except perhaps in her own mind, but the Air Force has
buried her with full military honors. ( I might have
chosen not to have the 21 gun salute - 7 men fired
3 shots - but Emily wanted the whole deal - so we did
it. ) I was very pleased and proud that her Commander
and 2 airmen who were close friends of Katherine
traveled all the way from England to be at our service.
They have told us that she was very proud to be in
the Air Force, that she was well respected and had
many friends. I believe every word of it. I know it
was true. They say that over 800 people attended
her service in England.
Carlos and an aunt and his brother were also present.
We tried to include them and make them feel as
accepted as we could. There were lots of hugs.
It was the first time that any of us here have met Carlos.
He also is in very deep pain. Perhaps he did make a
mistake, but I do believe that he very much loved her,
and I forgive him. If it was just punishment to him, her
action was way, way, way disproportionate to his sin.
There was some greater pain inside her - probably that goes
back to when she was only four and half years old -
when her mother and I first split up - leading to our divorce
when she was only five. Carlos is only 20 years old.
I know that he will be suffering from this for a long time.
I know that Katherine went through a terrible depression
at that time - when she was 5 and 6. But, as the years
had passed - she had seemed to grow out of it.
She did have close fiends and much laughter and fun in
her life. She was always smiling and laughing and full of fun.
She had some rough years when she was 14, 15, and 16
( when her Grammie Weeks died, and her mother remarried ) -
and she did drop out of high school late in her Junior year,
but by the time she was 19 and older she really seemed
to have come through it as a survivor ! She was a hell of
a hard worker. She worked as a dishwasher, and then
as a waitress for years. She also worked at a laundry
plant for nearly two years. There was no controlling her -
she was very will-full / headstrong -
she really has been running her own life since she was 14.
My mother likes to tell the story of how Katherine came to
her in late May - I'm sorry - my memory is all jumbled - I
think it must have been 98 - no that's wrong - Dad had died
already ...
and Katherine asked Ma
what did she have planned for that June 6th? And,
when Mom told her that she was planning to be out
on Matinicus Island - Katherine broke down and stated
to cry. Then she said: "Ma! I'm going to graduate on
the sixth !!!" Well! Of course Mom changed her plans
and we were all so very proud to attend her High School
graduation.
She didn't take the GED test. There is just one school in
the area which offers evening classes - just for kids
like Katherine who was also working days and making up
her high school credits in the evenings. So, this is
what she had done. She didn't even want to tell us
she was doing it - until she was sure that she was going to
graduate.
I've just called Mom - I was screwed up on the dates - it
was after my Dad died - now we think it must have been
the spring of 2002. It was just a few months after that
that she announced that she was joining the Air Force.
She went away to Texas for AF basic training just
before Thanksgiving of that same year.
The last time we saw her was after she finished AF Tech
school - she had a few weeks leave - early - spring 2003.
It has been about - a year a half that we haven't seen her
- since she was assigned to Lakenheath over in England.
Of course there have been many cards and letters, and
emails and digital pictures. We had been making plans
that she and Carlos would come home for a visit this
past spring - but due to lack of planning and lack of
money it didn't happen - and we had been talking
that they would come home and visit us this coming fall.
All this ... the point I was trying to get to ... she did know
that I Loved her very much. I was a part of her life.
Perhaps not as big a part as either of us might have
wished - but I did try. We all did.
When I was away working in Michigan during
those first three years after the divorce - I came home to
Maine each Christmas - and I did visit her. And, when she
was seven - the third year I was in Michigan - I flew Katherine
and her mother out to visit with me for a vacation and we
drove all over. We went camping and to the Detroit Zoo
and I taught Katherine about fishing
I sure all along that Katherine had wished that her
mother and I could have gotten back together.
After those 3 years in Michigan - I returned home to Maine
and have worked here ever since.
In Katherine’s years from 7 to 14 - I was visiting her and her
mother every week. I never missed with the child support.
I did put her bed and read to her many times. We tried to
show her something of a what a normal family life might
have been like - but, of course it never really was.
I did go to many of her school and sports events. She came
to Ma and Pa's house on the pond a lot - and we always
celebrated her birthdays and Christmas together. She
was into softball for a couple of seasons. But ..., the point
I want to make is - while I Loved her as my child all along -
and she was always such a sweetie! But, aside from being
my child - in the last few years she had grown into a
person - an adult - that I really, really, liked !!!!
( As a person !!! )
She was a joy !!! She was loving, and caring, and kind,
and considerate ... and more than that she was FUN !!!!
She was always full of fun and laughter !
She was such a treasure !
She packed a lot of life - into her short years.
I am so very heartbroken.
I thought we had won. I thought she had made it.
I thought she was through the pain - that she had grown
up and that it was all going to be O.K.
We were sliding into home plate ! I thought we
were home free! I was looking forward to when she
would visit me in my old age. And, I even dared to
think she would bring grand-children to visit me.
They have got me on Xanex and Prozac.
I will be seeking counseling.
I'm sorry to be dumping all this on you guys. You both
have been so good to us over the years. We did not want
you to be dropping everything - to fly up here as you
did when my Dad died.
I will paste in here the obituary which Emily wrote.
I don't mean to burden you guys - but I know you
would want to know.
This is going to be very difficult. None of us is
going to get over this quickly.
"Into every life - a little rain must fall"
( But, Dear God! It does seem like we must have
had more than our fair share ...
perhaps not - but, it does feel that way just now.
;-)
Oh! I do hope Mom has told you that my sister Sue's
daughter has had her new baby! He is "Richard" - the third!
He is just perfect and beautiful !
The Lord giveth - and the Lord taketh away.
Not one of us is going to get out of this alive !
I Love you both!
I hope all is well with both of you, and with
your families.
We will write some more.
In sorrow, but -
with Love,
Michael
On a hot Sunday in July 1981, Katherine Leila Cox, was born in Portland to Michael and Emily Cox.Twenty-three years later on another day in July as Airman First Class Katherine Trevino, she passed away at home in Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, England.
Kat grew up in Cornish at Meadow Brook Farm with her mother and Great-grandmother Florence Weeks and attended S.A.D. 55 schools but graduated from Massabesic High School in Waterboro. Before joining the Air Force she had worked at local restaurants in Cornish and at Pratt Abbot in Westbrook and Portland. Kat joined the Air Force and left for basic training November 2002 at Lackland AFB , San Antonio, TX. She attended technical school at Keesler AFB MS. At her death, Kat was serving the USAF as a computer technician in Communications squadron at Lakenheath AFB, UK. She was proud to serve in the United States Air Force, and at Lakenheath ,Kat met and married Airman First Class Carlos Trevino of Falfurrias, Texas on St. Valentine's day of this year in Bury Saint Edmunds where the couple came to reside.
A memorial service was held on base in England, Thursday, July 29 at which time friends and co workers numbering over eight hundred came together to celebrate her life. She had touched many lives and was well loved and shall be missed.
At an early age Kat was known as a mediator and always wanted her friends happy. She enjoyed music: Oasis, the Doors, and the Beatles as well as contemporary rock. Although not a scholar she was very clever and accomplished. She was a good worker and good manager of people. Kat was known for her slender beauty without vanity, her kindness, her smile, and her outgoing ways. She loved hiking and camping and was homesick for the White Mountains in NH.
She leaves behind her parents Michael L. Cox of Biddeford, and her mother Emily Weeks of Cornish, her maternal grandmother Ruth Jewell of Fryeburg, and step-grandfather David Jewell of Westbrook. Kat also leaves Ma, her grandmother Leona Cox of Standish and Matinicus Is. She also has an uncle Marshall Weeks of New York City, Uncle Frank Nappi of Westbrook, and Aunts Flora Sue Nappi of Westbrook and Julie Barry of Portland. Cousins: Elizabeth Coyne of Yarmouth and Sam Nappi of Portland.
She will be laid to rest near her Great-Grammie Weeks at Riverside Cemetery in Cornish.
Dad, would you stop talking about Love so much. I’m not it Love. I’ve found a best friend who just happens to be sweet and funny and caring to me too. To be honest, I don’t think I will ever really be in Love. I always find men and within months have found enough faults in them to say: “Nope! This is not the one!” I wonder if I do it on purpose or is it really that way? I just wrote a note to one of my friends and stated: “I think I am just a hopeless romantic; who is so blinded by her search for Prince Charming, that underneath it is just a way of hiding my fear of being alone.”
Dear Ron and Charlie:
It is with deep, deep sorrow that I must write to you
to report that my daughter Katherine has committed suicide.
I'm sorry I should have told you sooner. We believe it
happened on July 24. Her body was found on July 25.
Mom has been meaning to call also.
It has been just crazy here for the past - nearly two weeks
now. The whole thing is just insane! She was just married
this past Valentine's day! We had thought everything was fine.
We had thought that she was happy and was doing very well
in her Air Force job, and with her new marriage.
We have had many reports of all the fun she has been
having traveling to London, and in England. And, they
had a wonderful trip to Pisa, Italy that she sent some pictures
of.
We think it was not premeditated. We think something
happened between her and Carlos ( her new husband ) -
that must have triggered some deep psychological pain.
She had talked to her mother on the Thursday evening
- a long phone conversation - she groused a little bit
about small things - but her mother says that she was fine!
There was no indication of trouble. But, then on the
Friday evening - there was a voice mail message to
Emily which spoke of Katherine having had a phone
conversation with a girl in the states, who - apparently - had
thought that she was - still - engaged to Carlos! And,
- apparently - he had failed to tell this other girl that he
was now married !
Emily tried to return the phone call on Saturday but
never got through. Katherine was seen by some of her
friends early that Saturday morning - they were helping a
friend move, and Katherine had made a date
with one of her friends to go to a BBQ Saturday
afternoon. She never showed up.
Another one of her friends has said that she and
Carlos had had a fight on the Friday evening, and that she
had thrown Carlos out of the house: telling him that he
wasn't going to be sleeping there that night!
It was Carlos - who had been trying to call her all day
Saturday to make up - who found her body the next
Sunday morning.
It is a horrible tragedy and we are all very shaken.
There is a police investigation that is still going on.
There was a note (actually there were two notes - one
to Carlos, and one addressed "To the family") - which
we have not been allowed to see yet - but, we will.
And, of course, we will also be allowed
to read the investigation report.
We had an open house this past Thursday evening, and
the funeral service was yesterday. She is buried near
her Great Grammie Weeks in Cornish.
She was no war hero. She didn't fight in any battle -
except perhaps in her own mind, but the Air Force has
buried her with full military honors. ( I might have
chosen not to have the 21 gun salute - 7 men fired
3 shots - but Emily wanted the whole deal - so we did
it. ) I was very pleased and proud that her Commander
and 2 airmen who were close friends of Katherine
traveled all the way from England to be at our service.
They have told us that she was very proud to be in
the Air Force, that she was well respected and had
many friends. I believe every word of it. I know it
was true. They say that over 800 people attended
her service in England.
Carlos and an aunt and his brother were also present.
We tried to include them and make them feel as
accepted as we could. There were lots of hugs.
It was the first time that any of us here have met Carlos.
He also is in very deep pain. Perhaps he did make a
mistake, but I do believe that he very much loved her,
and I forgive him. If it was just punishment to him, her
action was way, way, way disproportionate to his sin.
There was some greater pain inside her - probably that goes
back to when she was only four and half years old -
when her mother and I first split up - leading to our divorce
when she was only five. Carlos is only 20 years old.
I know that he will be suffering from this for a long time.
I know that Katherine went through a terrible depression
at that time - when she was 5 and 6. But, as the years
had passed - she had seemed to grow out of it.
She did have close fiends and much laughter and fun in
her life. She was always smiling and laughing and full of fun.
She had some rough years when she was 14, 15, and 16
( when her Grammie Weeks died, and her mother remarried ) -
and she did drop out of high school late in her Junior year,
but by the time she was 19 and older she really seemed
to have come through it as a survivor ! She was a hell of
a hard worker. She worked as a dishwasher, and then
as a waitress for years. She also worked at a laundry
plant for nearly two years. There was no controlling her -
she was very will-full / headstrong -
she really has been running her own life since she was 14.
My mother likes to tell the story of how Katherine came to
her in late May - I'm sorry - my memory is all jumbled - I
think it must have been 98 - no that's wrong - Dad had died
already ...
and Katherine asked Ma
what did she have planned for that June 6th? And,
when Mom told her that she was planning to be out
on Matinicus Island - Katherine broke down and stated
to cry. Then she said: "Ma! I'm going to graduate on
the sixth !!!" Well! Of course Mom changed her plans
and we were all so very proud to attend her High School
graduation.
She didn't take the GED test. There is just one school in
the area which offers evening classes - just for kids
like Katherine who was also working days and making up
her high school credits in the evenings. So, this is
what she had done. She didn't even want to tell us
she was doing it - until she was sure that she was going to
graduate.
I've just called Mom - I was screwed up on the dates - it
was after my Dad died - now we think it must have been
the spring of 2002. It was just a few months after that
that she announced that she was joining the Air Force.
She went away to Texas for AF basic training just
before Thanksgiving of that same year.
The last time we saw her was after she finished AF Tech
school - she had a few weeks leave - early - spring 2003.
It has been about - a year a half that we haven't seen her
- since she was assigned to Lakenheath over in England.
Of course there have been many cards and letters, and
emails and digital pictures. We had been making plans
that she and Carlos would come home for a visit this
past spring - but due to lack of planning and lack of
money it didn't happen - and we had been talking
that they would come home and visit us this coming fall.
All this ... the point I was trying to get to ... she did know
that I Loved her very much. I was a part of her life.
Perhaps not as big a part as either of us might have
wished - but I did try. We all did.
When I was away working in Michigan during
those first three years after the divorce - I came home to
Maine each Christmas - and I did visit her. And, when she
was seven - the third year I was in Michigan - I flew Katherine
and her mother out to visit with me for a vacation and we
drove all over. We went camping and to the Detroit Zoo
and I taught Katherine about fishing
I sure all along that Katherine had wished that her
mother and I could have gotten back together.
After those 3 years in Michigan - I returned home to Maine
and have worked here ever since.
In Katherine’s years from 7 to 14 - I was visiting her and her
mother every week. I never missed with the child support.
I did put her bed and read to her many times. We tried to
show her something of a what a normal family life might
have been like - but, of course it never really was.
I did go to many of her school and sports events. She came
to Ma and Pa's house on the pond a lot - and we always
celebrated her birthdays and Christmas together. She
was into softball for a couple of seasons. But ..., the point
I want to make is - while I Loved her as my child all along -
and she was always such a sweetie! But, aside from being
my child - in the last few years she had grown into a
person - an adult - that I really, really, liked !!!!
( As a person !!! )
She was a joy !!! She was loving, and caring, and kind,
and considerate ... and more than that she was FUN !!!!
She was always full of fun and laughter !
She was such a treasure !
She packed a lot of life - into her short years.
I am so very heartbroken.
I thought we had won. I thought she had made it.
I thought she was through the pain - that she had grown
up and that it was all going to be O.K.
We were sliding into home plate ! I thought we
were home free! I was looking forward to when she
would visit me in my old age. And, I even dared to
think she would bring grand-children to visit me.
They have got me on Xanex and Prozac.
I will be seeking counseling.
I'm sorry to be dumping all this on you guys. You both
have been so good to us over the years. We did not want
you to be dropping everything - to fly up here as you
did when my Dad died.
I will paste in here the obituary which Emily wrote.
I don't mean to burden you guys - but I know you
would want to know.
This is going to be very difficult. None of us is
going to get over this quickly.
"Into every life - a little rain must fall"
( But, Dear God! It does seem like we must have
had more than our fair share ...
perhaps not - but, it does feel that way just now.
;-)
Oh! I do hope Mom has told you that my sister Sue's
daughter has had her new baby! He is "Richard" - the third!
He is just perfect and beautiful !
The Lord giveth - and the Lord taketh away.
Not one of us is going to get out of this alive !
I Love you both!
I hope all is well with both of you, and with
your families.
We will write some more.
In sorrow, but -
with Love,
Michael
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
